Monkey on my back

I enjoy to activities when the weather allows it – fishing and golf.  This spring has been particularly harsh in that it hasn’t been conducive to ice melting or courses opening.  Maybe this weekend it will be warm enough to finally get started with golf anyway.

I have not let the longer winter deter me from getting started with golf.  I have been hitting golf balls from my driveway across the street into a soccer field.  I do love hitting golf balls and so when the weather would allow, I hit hundreds and hundreds.  As nice as this arrangement is it definitely has had some problems.

One big problem is the damn tree across the street.  It’s somewhat between my driveway and my intended target and so the perfect shot is either really high or it must curve somewhat around the branches.  Unfortunately, I have hit the branches hundreds of times and even without leaves, the tree has sent my shots in all directions.  The worst was last week when my neighbor was unloading something from his truck in his driveway.  The ball hit the tree, ricocheted straight-down to the street and landed a few feet from his truck.  I briefly explained it was very weird shot and he was friendly and all but he seemed to step up the pace of unloading and quickly put his truck in the garage and closed the garage door.

One lesser problem is that my driveway is curved and I am hitting off a mat.  And so I practice the same or a similar shot over and over and over again.  I am concerned that even if I start hitting perfect shots I will not be able to translate my new found skills because you don’t get too slightly uphill shots with perfect lies that often on the course.  When I take a regular shot from longer grass will I completely miss hit it because I have grooved the uphill swing?  Time will tell.

The most profound problem is that seem to suffer from brief successes followed by severe and lengthy failures.  I can hit stretches of 10-15 shots that are acceptable (they would probably be on or near the green if I were playing golf).  Then the proverbial monkey gets on my back and I start scattering shots.  It’s so bad it’s like I am either blind or someone has spun me around a half dozen times and then asked me to hit. 

The most troubling aspect of my wayward stretches is that I have a huge problem righting myself.  Back in the day when I could count on playing a round of golf under 85 strokes, I would still hit a really bad shot now and then but could quickly diagnose the problem and get back on track.  Now, even with concerted mental and physical reviewing of the fundamentals of golf, it can take many shots before my golf ship gets righted and on course.

So now my biggest concern is that I have a brain/body disconnect that is incurable.  There are some pro golfers that have gone down this path – they are the best in the world one year and then the monkey gets on their back and they can’t force themselves to play well no matter how much they practice.  No matter what they try, it just doesn’t work. The problem is in the great chasm between the ears.

I started wondering if there aren’t parallels to other aspects of my and others behavior.  Do we get in situations where we know the right thing to do and want to do it but there is some mysterious disconnect between our will and our behavior.  I really want to be a pleasant person and know it’s the right thing to do but then the next person in my office gets the brush off.  I want to drive safely, eat right, pray earnestly, (fill in the blank) but there is a persistent obstacle between my will and my life.  How can we overcome the obstacles to become the person we know we can and want to be?

I guess that is a question that has been troubling humankind for all of existence.  I don’t have the answer.  I do know that if I don’t get more consistent with my golf though that I will be soon advertising some golf equipment at fire sale prices – keep checking back.

The Taxing Truth of Palmettos

I went to Florida for a few days to enjoy the warmth, do a little fishing, and play a lot of golf.  It was a fun trip and it was good for me to get far away from everything I was doing to gain fresh energy and a fresh perspective on life.One thing that I did notice is that I must pay an inordinate attention to the downside potential.  How did I come to this conclusion?  I lost probably 50 golf balls.  On many Minnesota courses (especially the municipal type courses I play) there is room for error on most holes.  You can play shots in the other fairway and the fairways are wide.  This was not the case at the course we played.

The narrow fairways were bordered with a combination of water, sand, and mostly snake infested palmetto fields commonly referred to as, “The Junk.”  My golf game, my ego, my brain is very ill-equipped to contend with these omnipresent challenges.  Doubt and pessimism took complete control of my being.  Worse yet, is that we were playing “money” games typically with a partner and so I was not only letting myself down, I typically dragged someone with me.

I started to think about where things went wrong after each hole and each round and tried to rally some inward strength to contend with the challenges.  I was not too successful and rather than adapting to improve, I accepted my failure and always tried to keep three golf balls in my pocket because I knew I would hit one of my next three shots into the junk.

So then I started trying to figure out where was the lesson in this experience.  I needed to get some positive from this experience.  Here are a few random thoughts thus far:

-give up golf because you are getting worse quickly and it’s too hard to play
-go back to the very basic fundamentals golf, relearn the game, and practice until there is some positive movement
-play golf but just assume that it is going to be four hours of bad shots but a chance to enjoy others company-
Finally, electro-shock therapy of some sort to remove the entire golfing game memories from my brain.

The actual reason I am writing about my experience is that I think there is some metaphorical lessons to be learned.  I wonder about the golf course of life and whether we don’t put ourselves in a position where we can lose are desire to do what is best.  We may try to be a better person but because we are playing at a course where there is ever present temptation and cultural messages not to do the right thing, we give up.  It becomes too hard to resist and so we stop trying and accept that we are going to make a lot of bad decisions (or hit the golf ball into the junk).

Maybe what we should think about is try to find a “course” better suited for our mental and spiritual strength.  I am fairly certain I could live a better healthier lifestyle if I was in a monastery.  I’d probably be more productive if I didn’t have a TV.  I’d be thinner if I had no sweets and snacks.  I’d use my money more constructively if I gave more of it away.  I’d be happier if I ignored advertising.

You think about that and in the meantime if you know of a good golfing professional and or mental strengthening coach that want to do some pro bono work on a basket case, let me know.

It’s a Game of Honor

I don’t play nearly as much golf as I used to when I worked at a nearby course.  In fact, I play many of my rounds when I go to Austin where two of my brothers live.  The emphasis is mostly on fun and not so much on competition when we play.  While our golf games are somewhat close to one another they are not equal and so to compensate to some extent we stopped playing stroke competition and invented our own game.We invented the game and have slowly added nuances including giving in the title, “It’s a Game of Honor.”  The rules evolve a little bit every year but in essence the game is based on total points.  You earn a point for each of the following: long-drive in the fairway (hitting the fairway is not too common of occurrence with my family), closest to the pin on par threes (must be on the green), green in regulation (two points if you hit it in less than regulation), and one point for low score on a hole (carried over if there is a tie).  The most controversial rule is the, “pinny” rule wherein a contestant get’s a point if he makes a putt longer than the length of the pin.  There have been allegations that contestants have purposefully chipped poorly to give themselves a chance at the, “pinny” and thus run contrary to the honor required for the game.  The final point rule is that you lose a point if you three-putt.

The final rule (at least so far) is that the high point person (the potential winner of the game), must take off his hat and shake hands with all other competitors before leaving the last green.  If he doesn’t he forfeits the victory.

We are also completing introducing new rules to poke more fun at the bogus rituals at professional golf.  One is that you be required to tap down spike marks in the green after you make a put (whether there are any there or not).

Another rule we are contemplating will involve calling penalties on yourself when no one else sees you break a rule.  It seems that the pro golfers or at least the pro golf announcers like to make a huge deal about how golf and golfers stand a part from other sports because the competitors call penalties on themselves even when no one else sees the infraction or knows about it.

The new rule would tie well to our name for the game, “It’s a Game of Honor.”  However, we haven’t quite figured out how to reward a person for calling a penalty on themselves yet.  Maybe the player is required to call a penalty on himself every time a rule is broken and in exchange they would get a half of a mulligan.  So let’s say you are on the tee and you drive the ball so that it obviously lands in the middle of the lake.  If you’d say something like, “Gentlemen, I am not sure that ball went into the lake or not, but because golf is a game of honor, I am going to say that it went into the lake and assess myself a penalty.” After two such admissions, you get to take a mulligan when you hit your next shot into a hazard.

If you’re a golf I’d say give the game a try.  The point system is pretty fair and it doesn’t punish you when you play bad and typically creates situations where there can be big point swings on one hole.